Another year has come and gone... and so with that I wanted to take a look at my 2009 list and think about what happened and what I can look forword to next year!

So this is last years list:

1) finished my first year of my BA with a 91 average. (now my total average is 89.58 think they will round up?) Hard to belive that I took 3 years to finish a 2 year program 6 years ago...

I ended up with a 90.5 :) not too shabby I should go back and finish my full degree but I needed a break.

2)I still have a lump on my thyroid. They dont think its cancerous. I go for another scan in Jan. Hopefully its either stayed the same or srunk. Otherwise surgery here I come. I did radiation for it (one time thing) but still managed to get though security into the US :)

The lump is smaller, but stabalized. I no longer take thyroid meds and they are continueing to check the blood tests but think I should be ok :)

3) Showed for the first time as an Open competitor, without another trainer backing me up. And didnt fall on my face. One of the greatest moments was walking up to the owner who gave me a chance and telling him that his mare just won Grand Champion. And then watching him almost fall over. (and then managing to do that two more times, as well as a reserve) Rumor is the Incentive fund cheque will be over $500. Just for the points I put on that doesnt count the owners or his son's points.

Had another great year. The mare finished her open superior, and should be close on both her amature and youth as well :)

4) We ended up the year Champion yearling mare, yearling trail, reserve lungline, champ amature mare, and reserve youth mare in NB. We also got reserve in NS in some of the same classes even though we didnt attend many shows there.

Well we had 3 national top tens, as well as reserve national champion it was a good year. She did really well in NB and NS points too :)

5) Making the top 10 national list. Although I dont know my placings yet, compared to other years we will be in for yearling mares, lungline and trail. WOW never thought that would happen I was hoping for one top ten placing!

6) Having a fantastic summer showing, having my best friend help me and getting to know my current boyfriend before either of us would admit to likeing eachother.

Yeah scratch that boyfriend out!!!!

7) Going out with my boyfriend Trevor. He loves horses as much as me (maybe more because he owns alot!) understands my need to show, and has suported my efforts to improve myself and my education (both horse related and not) I hope he would say the same about me! Im really looking forword to 2009 to see where this is going...

And it ended!

8) Finishing school in 2009... and maybe starting again to finish getting my degree in another year or two.

9) Dealing with my RA. Which has always been a chalange. However I think I ok with it more now that I can show and train, and have a life, even though I still have it.

10) Great horses to show next year. The comming 2yo, and my friends new horse that I have loved for several years. His owners gave her a chance to purchase him and shes giving me the chance to show him next year in halter. I also have the oppertunity to show an AQHA mare in the Open and halter with 'pony kid' :) should be a fun summer!

11) AND I got to go to Congress :)

And for next year;

1) To a great show season with Lucas :) I hope I can continue to ride for a few more years but when that time comes, he should be able to learn how to drive so that we can show in harness.

2) To good friends, and fun at all the shows.

3) I hope that my job continues to go well, and that I might get a raise soon ;)

4) to good National lists for the Apps :)

umm yeah so thats it! All I can say is that I hope the new decade turns out alot better health wise for me than the last one. And now Im off to the barn, to ride the year out in style :)

Christmass

Well my best friend came out a few days ago and put Lu though his paces. He did not like her at all! He tried to buck her off several times, and reared as well. He hasnt done that with me. She was asking alot of him, stuff he knows how to do but hasnt been asked to do in several years. Truthfully its about time! Her horse HATES me, as I broke her, and every time she sees me shes going to a show or a clinic where she's going to have to work hard. Its about time that my horses doesnt like her :)

Ive been treating him with kid gloves, yes I will admit it. However I have 6 months to get him in show shape, and everyone who has seen him has been impressed with his progress. He's gained weight, and some muscle, his coat is finaly looking healthy and he has settled into the barn.

My friend agreed that its the fitness of his body and mine that will be our hardest issue. As well as keeping his brain happy. As soon as we get some snow (to cover up the rocky hard mud mounds that are in the field now...) hes going out with 2 young geldings. Hes bord getting turnout by himself, so the 2 youngsters will keep him active and happy.

Im sore hes wild :)

Well we had a drastic drop in temps this week went from around 4C to -19C+ windchill. Yuck! Anyways the tempature changes have caused me to be more sore than usual, so I havnt riden in the past few days. Ive gotten to the barn, brushed Lu, and lunged him but thats about it.

Meanwhile, Lu seems to be setteling in much better at the barn, I lunged him on Thursday night, and on Friday when the owners of the farm turned him out he ran for 1/2 an hour bucking, playing, snorting at everything, and then wouldnt get caught! They said he was much better today, just had a walk around for a bit and a roll, but after I lunged him I thought I would give him some free time so he could roll if he wanted to (and he kinda had a look in his eye...). WELL! he ran and he bucked and he spun! I think hes enjoying his new life, he is very well behaved on the lunge and under saddle, but hes just like a mechevious little kid... 'Im being very good, BUT I really really really want to go play!'

Good ride

Had a good ride last night. The weather has been causing problems with me getting to the barn as often as I would like. But its a good time for it to happen. Neither one of us is fit enough to go every night, so its alowing us to start working together without pushing either of us past our fitness point.

Had a really good ride, love his canter, could ride it all night. :) Not that his trot is bad but it is a real trot not the usual wp jog I'm used to!

Good ride

Had a good ride tonight, Lu needs his feet done so hes stumbling a bit. We lunged for a bit just long troting geting his back freed up and some extra steem off. He still is having some problems picking up his left lead on the lunge line but I think that may be due to his feet starting to need to be done.

He was triping a bit at the trot, so we worked on transitions and bending, and chainging directions while bending. He tryed to pull off a 'if I stop here, maybe she'll get off' halts. I got him going again with some spur, but no big deal untill he tried it again, complete with a head toss and a stomp. Well! My 'training' kicked in, he got a boot and was spinning around on his hock so fast he didnt know what was happening. All of a sudden he was a very well behaved boy. I love geldings!

I think the weirdist thing was how quick I responded. I had him moving again before I had time to go 'oh shit he stoped again' Guess riding all thouse babys fianly paid off in more than just bumps and bruses!

AHHHH!!!!

Sorry I havn't been posting in a while. I ended up really starting the search for a new horse 2 weeks ago. It was over in 3 days. I ended up looking at a few horses on Rememberance day, and my friend made a phone call to one of her friends that deals in AQHA horses whom she thought would know more about what was available. Anyways he had a 9yo in his barn, that the owner lost intrest in and that she had decided to finaly sell for whatever she could get for him. So I went over and tried him out, and he was perfect!! Easy to ride, quiet and more than enough quality for what I need! Sooo what did I end up buying??

A 16.1 hh HUS gelding, named 'Love The Luke'. Hes a full brother to 'Stonecold Luke' (Congress Champion), and he also has a full 4yo brother that Tena Kaven is showing. Lucas has two Top Ten placings from Congress, and has shown all over the US and Canada. He needs a little pampering, and special care but even if he can keep me on horse back for another year or two he will be well worth the money. Not exactly the WP horse I was looking for, but my boots are more at home in an english saddle!

The funny thing is that while some people are very happy for me, some others are more than a little dissapointed that I will be returning to the AQHA show ring, with a quality horse. Oh well they just better step up the game!

I got him home on Friday rode him yesterday, where I stayed on his back while my sturip broke, and the skill saw and hammer were making room for more horses. I lunged him this morning more to get him loosned up than for anything else. He needed some weight on, and he needs to get into a good program but he should be more than ready for the show season by this spring.

:)

Lessons on the weekends

Well I start lessons next week with my former boss, its the closest place with good lesson horses, and I can put some pressure on him to find me somthing to lease for next year. It will be nice to ride again. The knee has gotten better

To show or not to show

Well I haven't posted in a while, the AQHA show went ok, I didnt get her set up quite like I wanted to and they she moved when the judges cames : So it didnt go great but she was well behaved. Then after seeing the pics my friend goes "well you were showing her the 'old' halter way not the new way" Well that kind pissed me off, why not just say "oh well tough luck" then get over it, come on I paid for my own enteries, its not like she paid for it.

I had tryed out a horse that weekend, a horse that I used to use for lessons but now he was up for sale by his owners. The bigest downfall was that he was 22 years old. I didnt feel that I could do that, as he would need more supplements ect as he got older and I diding feel that I could provide that.

However my friend went and told everyone (including the people I showed for last year) that I was off looking at this horse. I would have told them if it was at the point that I was ready to bring them home, but thats just it "I" would have told them. This from the girl who didnt even tell me she bought a new horse untill it was on its way home.

Anyways this attitued is starting to piss me off. Shes always right, Im always wrong and Im always on the worst horse around.

So the 2nd to last

Well I thought that my show last weekend would be my last for the summer, at least the breed shows. Sassy won all of her halter classes and was Reserve champion twice (out of 4 judges) the mare that beat us went overall halter champion. I also managed to catch lead a yearling stud to 4 grand champion awards and a 2 in a most colorfull class of 16. The stud is the same one that I went and picked up last winter with the ex. I didnt mind helping as he was well behaved, and it may end up getting me another horse to show next year.

And my friends new horse is comming home from Ohio this week and will end up at the local AQHA show as a pick up point. The friend is riding another horse in the show so the yearling will end up staying for the weekend so I asked if I could show her in halter and my friend said yes. So three different breed shows in the same amount of weeks.

Just got back

from managing the local APHA show. It was a APHA show and included classes from the local 'curcit' as well as some open stake classes. We had just over 25 horses entered, and managed to do a full slate of APHA classes as well as classes from the local group and still managed to be done by 6pm. We had no complaints from the actuall competitors, other than moving a bit to fast on Saturdays halter classes! But the reiners moved in Sunday afternoon and gave the showground managment a hard time over the footing. The show offered an open (to all breeds) reining class on Sunday afternoon and dispite all the standing around, only one reiner steped up and paid the entry fee to enter. We ended up sending him home with his entry fee back in prize money, and $40 worth of prizes! He was really excited and you could almost hear the "wow maybe we should have entered" grumbles from the croud.

We also had a guy come up and want to know about the Maritime APHA club, truns out hes new to the area and has reining paints, and pleasure paints, but didnt know there was a APHA club in the area!

Anyways things are good on the Apaloosa front, our final big 4 judge show is on the weekend so it should be interesting. There is another show the weekend after and I still dont know if we are going to that or not, Joe Carter is judging and I'd like to show for him, but it depends on the money.

Blah....

Sorry I havn't been posting much! With the new job, horse shows, and family comming to visit for a few weeks things have been crazy. Things should start getting back to normal in a few weeks. Were working on fitting up the filly for the next set of shows in Sept. 4 judges per weekend 2 weekends back to back. Lots of points up for grab, but some serious pressure!

13 points

Well it was a good show. We won the open halter furturity, and went grand champ. mares both days. The fillys owner is riding her some, and is doing faily well with her. He got on her at the show and she was really good.

New job

Well its been a while. I managed to get my IV before work started. Work is going good, have a good position with a goverment client (less likely to get multiple anoying phone calls!) So I have the show next weekend which should be good.

Not a real horsey post

Its been raining here for about 2 weeks now, not only does that mean that pony kid is unable to ride his horse, my knees have been really bad. It had been only the left knee (unusual as its usualy my right side that gets worse) but after doing chores at the pig farm yesterday, by about 4 both knees were really bad.

I ended up using a cane (mostly for getting up and down, and carrying it around the rest of the time.) for most of the night. Its the first time Ive ever had to do that. Im kinda having a rough time with all of this. Im 27, I shouldnt be thinking about how long its going to be untill I cannot care for myself....

Anyways fillys owner was surprised that I didnt think I would be showing in 3 weeks, 'friend' keeps telling me I have to go pull the fillys mane. Yeah.... cant get up or down but I should go do that now....

Took the methotrextate last night, Didnt feel real great last night but Im ok today just a little dizzy

well now what?

So we went to the horse show, and got the final point that Sassy needed to recive her superiour award in Open Halter. Yippie!! Although I didnt party like I thought I would, I am relived that we finaly got it done.

Now to the truth of the matter. Im really bad. I mean really bad. I could hardly walk on Sunday and even the judge asked if I was ok. I could hardly jog the 15 steps needed for the soundness test, and I think that hurt our placings.

Took the Methotrextate on Sunday night and passed out at 7, my parents and a friend called and I only remember the friend, and that she told me somthing about her horse. I didnt wake up the next day untill 10am with a headacke and was dizzy and sleepy till about 5. (I managed to sleep another 2 hours during that time too...) I think it was mostly due to the drug but also due to the fact that I didnt sleep much on the weekend.

I really dont know what to do, I was worried about not riding again, and now Im finding it harder to walk, what am I going to do if I cant do anything with horses. I cant even show halter horses I dont want to go to the shows. It wasnt so hard at first I thought I would get better as they figured out my drugs but now Im getting worse. What am I going to do when I cant walk? I thought I would be in my 40's or 50's not next year when Im 28

oh sh*&

Well my knee that was a little stiff before the show is now 2X the size of the other one. Both hands are huge and even though I took a bunch of pain killer (more than Ive ever taken up to this point) I still had a really painful night even ending up waking up to cry when I couldn't lift the covers over me, because I was cold. I know that sounds pathetic but I was in bed just about frozen and unable to even cover myself. I almost had to ask for help to get changed last night. How can I expect to live somewhat normally when shit like this still happens. I have a tentative job offer that means moving about one hour away, and I'm looking at places going not ground floor. I'm not even really bad yet I can still walk but every time I have a night like last night I wonder how long it will be until I cannot look after myself.

Show

Well I rode in my first WP class in almost 4 years! Had a good ride got 4th out of about 14, and could have been higher if we didnt screw up the back up. The kid got 1st in halter out of 20, and 5th in horsmanship out of about 20.

We were most impressed with her keeping all 4 feet on the gound despite being ran into from behind and being boxed on the rail. She kept her cool :)

Ummm

Aparently the owners of the filly are mad at me because of my 'behavour' the other night when they insisted that I come out to the farm.

After having there yearling run away with me, because they dont know how to 'fix' her. (shes not bad but they are allowing bad habbits. Every time we went around she stoped at the gate. ) Now considering that they told me they never stop her at the gate, I found that behavour suspecious but not horible. By the end of 10 min she went by just fine. She isnt getting her lead in the hind going to the right but the owners though it was because of her front leg?? Anyways as it was getting dark I finished and was just going to brush the 2yo however I was told they were having major issues.

So I brought her out, now its only been a month since the expo, and she was rusty there but respected me, my space, and the chain. (she knows not to pull because it hurts both of us) So I brought her out, and she promptly ran off with me. Now I was not upset with the taking off, she knows better, but it was dark and the dogs were running around. However she continued fighting, pulling and running even after repeted attempts to get her to trot. (she is allowed to do an extended trot to blow off steam, but needs to respect the space, and the chain) even with me putting all my force on the chain she continued to run off. I got her to go better but it was not good.

So now Im in pain, shes in pain and the owners like 'yeah thats what she does to us'. Now even with a 7 months off she wasnt that bad. Shes gone that downhill in about 3 weeks. Yeah I was mad. They said she wasnt listening to them, but they watched me lunge her all last summer the kids can lunge her, how the hell did she get that bad?

Anyways

So the clinic last weekend went great for barbie and her kid (lol) The clinician (the guy I rode with all winter) again told the parents that the horse was a good one, and she and the kid will do great things in the year to come.

Anyways I havent been sleeping well lately, having bad dreams about stuff not being ready for shows, and not relaxing at all. Im basicly a wound up muscel right now with no down time which is killing my back big time.

Waiting

Well things have been quiet for a week just relaxing, applying for jobs and getting caught up on laundry and stuff. Went up for a night and helped a friend with her horse, who wasnt being bad, just had a communication problem between the two of them.



Had a phone call from one of the jobs I applyed for, they want me in for an interview on Monday so that looks hopefull :)



The owners of the filly were having a problem lunging her, that I was suposto 'fix'. However the filly did not have a problem, the person lunging her did. Anyways I tryed to help but its hard to help when someone doesnt think they are wrong.



Anyways friend is at a show Barbie and her kid are at a clinic, so it should be a good but busy weekend.

Last day at work

Well had a final day at work, got to go down into the mine and the guys took me for a tour. It turns out I've still been getting money from school (goverment money) so Im not as broke as I thought I was!

Horses are good, Sassy is a little ouchy from her new shoes, they bug her frogs a bit. Hopefully things will get sorted out this week. She also got her wolf teeth out. Busy week for that pony. The Barbie pony is good shead out finaly :) and is a really nice gold color.

Started making plans for the show at the end of the month, but have to get though my graduation and another show before then!

La la la

Well my work term is almost over, and I still haven't found a full time job. Still applying for lots but it looks kinda slow.

Horses are all good. Barbie horse finaly shead out and is a wonderful color now!

Old ways new fears....

So we went to visit the old man on Monday, had a fun ride on my friends horse. The old boss was like ok just canter from a to e, and see how it feels. Im not sure if he was worried about me or the horse, who is also just returning to full time work after having a year off due to tendon issues. It was kinda nice as all the new borders who didnt know me kept poping into the indoor to watch, I guess they wanted to see if the rumors were true.

Anyways they again offered me my old job back (as they have every year, since they found out I was going to be 'ok' after all, even if it was a new kind of normal) But I couldnt do it on a daily basis any more. Hell Im not even sure I like riding anymore, let alone HAVING to ride atleast on a weekly basis again. Since Ive left they've fliped an entire barn of students, the 80 that I had there are down to about 10 of the same and 30 new ones.

Let alone the fact that it is still LESS money than I was making before I went there the first time!!! I was making 800 more a month in ont, yes I was paying for an appartment but it only cost me 500. And that was 2 years of school and 5 years less experence.

They were like "well you could still have the weekends to show ApHCC!" Yeah and never AQHA, dispite the fact most of 'there' clients would be taking lessons with me and most of the horses would be under my full time training. I had 2 other trainers later ask me why I never showed.....

Anyways now Im dealing with the goverment again, I dont have a job, no medical plan, and no money...... *sigh* things were so much easer when I was younger!!!

To ride or not to ride...

Well we took the palomino to a clinic this weekend with the guy i rode with all winter. He really liked her. Even kept liking her when the kid got on. Said afterwords that she would be tough enough for AQHA shows but didn't know how she would mentally handle the training that we would have to put into her to get her to that point.

We had a really good weekend though, I rode 2 times on Saturday and I think really showed that yeah I actually really do know how to ride. We had to do an exercise of bending to the outside on a small jog circle having them cross over there front legs (keeping the outside shoulder up) then to lope off in the opposite direction to keep the outside bend, which is now the new inside. The boss kept saying "those are the hands the rest of you want" made me feel good.

But now I've realized I don't really like riding anymore.

I feel like its just to prove a point now, that I can do it, still better than most other people, even with my problems.

Its just a chase of perfection.

And I am scared ever time I go to get on, of how much it will hurt when I fall off. It hurts if I bump into something.

And the fact that we would have to brake that horse mentally for her to show well........... I dont think I could do it.

So I dont know what Im going to do, I know I like halter and showing the young horses, I always have but now what do I do.... Add to the fact that work is slowly killing me I had to take off today as I was to tired and my hands hurt too bad....

I dont know what to do

Halter horse

Well pic from the show this weekend. She really didnt stand that well in the front... She now has a new halter. Please excuse my baggy pants... I didnt realize how much weight I had lost .... they also went almost up to my boobs!

Show this weekend

Well alot of stuff happend this week. Went to a horse club meeting and listened to them bitch for 3 hours,,,,, lots of fun..... Then I started my work term at a local mine. I thought I would learn alot about production billing ect. And all I've really done is orginize paper work update files and orginize everthing..... lots of fun. However I did get to take paper work to the boat that was here to get loaded and see the loading facilitys and learn about how they bill for the load and how delivey is done at the other end.

At the horse meeting we found out the the ex is not taking his new horse to the clinic so 'my' horse got nominated to go, so now I just finished packing everythings that going. Its not so much of a show as a trade expo, and she'll be in the breed demos.

Barbie horse is going well. Moves much better than I thought, Im very impressed with her. She looks around a fair bit, but only spooked once, when I asked her to go between the stoool and the Pony who she hates and she only stoped and jumped about 2 feet. I stayed on but did bruse my leg on the saddle.

Im very nurvous about riding her in the clinic next weekend the coach (the guy I rode with all winter) will like her but its more like proving that im not a has been, and that I can ride (dispite what some people say)

WP

CW got banned for one year, 10,000 fine. I hope the fine goes to the owners of the horse to pay for vet bills.

Points

Well they realesed the Amature and Youth points today. The owner got 24 points in Amature mares, and his son got 20 points in youth mares. To get there superiors they both need 50 points so they are well on there way to getting them next year (if we keep our fingers crossed!!!)

In total that means that she came out of 2008 with 109 points. This does not include her Hunter in Hand class points (I think she got 3 or 4 points in that...) (its essently a class based on the horses movement to be a hunter horse, she showed against mares of all ages, and one once, not bad at all for a yearling!)

Ive stoped lessons for the time being, I thought we would be able to start riding soon at home. But the weather is not helping any. Went out the last two nights and got a ton of hair off her, and lunged her on Monday night. The hands have not been good lately....

I start work on monday.... should be intresting, working both in the office and doing some stuff in the shop, so I dont have to dress up all the time (Yippie!!) Still dont have a fill time position anywhere, and thats stressing me out, no job with medical means stress... drugs cost about $2500 a month.....the goverment is covering me while at school and work term but...

If wishes were horses...

New 2yo pics. First one just showing how her coat looks, and how shes growing well, just furry around her belly now.
Sassy troting

Starting to think that we should be thinking HUS not western pleasure!!

Got asked to train another horse this weekend. The owner just moved home from out west and needs someone to keep him going (she only really likes to sit there/show) Its very tempting, but almost impossible logisticly. But this is what kills me about the horse industry, letting go and moving on. I was there when this particular horse was born. Hell for that matter I held the mare when she was inseminated!! Its hard to let go, esp when hes been in full time training out west for 2 full years, and would be easy to maintain.

Went and looked at the 2yo today. Shes on a good program to get her final point that she needs for her superiour in halter at the first show (hopefully!!) Shes still on the little side for me to ride but we'll see what happens.

Luck

Well Ive been recovering from the stress of last week (and mentaly relaxing... but have had a test every day so far ...) Ive been reading some of the form topics on pleasurehorse.com. On in paticular kinda pricked my ears up. It was about a womans feelings that if she isnt going to at least have a chance at winning why should she show. Responses varried from 'for fun', to take a break, but one really got me thinking.....

"Someone told me a couple weeks ago that they battle their nerves by chanting something to the effect of, "I am SO lucky to be here. I am SO lucky to have this horse. I am SO lucky, so lucky, so lucky..." I thought that was truly wonderful advice. We really ARE lucky, but we all need to remind ourselves of that from time-to-time:)"

And that made me really sit back. Yeah Im stressing about showing this summer, and money, and finding enough time to ride, and to ride WELL in that time, but I started thinking about whats happened in one year.

One year ago they found the lump in my neck with swolen glands all around it. The doctors thought I had HL. I seriously thought for 2 weeks that I was going to die. Or that if I lived I would be dealing with cancer for a long time, on top of the RA that I was just managing to function with. I couldnt ride, and when I got on it was only for a 'pony' ride due to the pain the RA was putting on my joints. I had to tell the owner of the yearling that I would try that, summer but depending on treatment I might not be able to handle a yearling.

And now....So Im making my "I'm so lucky" list!!

* Im almost pain free thanks to Remicade. When my joints are bad they feel really bad, but it is less swelling than what I had on a normal daily basis before.

*I have fantastic friends (esp one...) that have stood by thought it all. And keep pushing just enough so I dont take the easy route out.

*I can ride again!!! No I will never ride like I did when I was 24 (aparently this is a commen thing as you get older!) But I can get on, ride well and have fun again.

*I have great people who are happy to let me ride there horses into the ring (so so lucky for this!) And who have gone out of there way to prep these horses to make my life easer.

*I had the oppertunity to go back to school to hopefully get a great job, that will allow me to do what I want with the horses, so it remains fun.

*That it is not cancer.


That comment made me think of somthing else too. Back when I was grooming in Ont, and working for a crappy employeer, I called my mom to talk about my week and how things were ok and bad all at the same time. She said and I quote "will you listen to yourself? You would have died when you were 12 to even stand next to these people, or to touch there horses!" And its true I would have died a happy death at 12 if I had known all the horses and people I would work with lol. Kinda makes you wonder whats comming next?

Well.....

Sorry Ive been busy lately, working on accounting projects to finish up (it is my last year...) and stuff. Havn't been riding (back to the accounting project thing!) And Im feeling the lack. Im also looking for a job to work at when Im done school. Which is killing me. All I want to do is fix horse problems and clean stalls :( And everything hurts.... sucky week all around....

Oh I did see the Thyroid dr. Everything is good, the lump is still there but less inflamed and my thyroid is working nomaly now. Im off the Synthroid. So things are looking up in that area. She still wants to run blood tests every two months but I should be ok.

Long week

Well I did the clinic. I only rode the 2 lessons the first day and one each the next two days. Yes I wimped out, but I just couldnt keep going. My muscles were trying so hard to keep balanced that I just couldnt be effective. How the hell am I going to show?? If I've only got about 70 min of good riding time per day.... thats one warm up and one good class. My friend has said that she'll help however she can but its not the same as having your own butt in the saddle. And she has her own horses that she'll be trying to show.

The 2yo should be ok. She lunges/warms up in 15-20 min last year and was in "show mode". More than likely she'll also only be in walk trot classes with one other horse. Allows me to work on 2 gaits, and shes very used to showing in all of the rings.

The pally on the other hand should be intresting. Hopefully she's as quitet on the show grounds as she is at home. Im going to start riding her this week, after shes been off sence November so it should be intresting.

Oh and the owners of the 2yo started her this week....grrrrrrrrr..... I mean we talked about it they agreed to let me work her once I got school done, and truthfully if you had a 'trainer' (even if she is a Hasbeen) that worked/workes with some of the top QH trainers around, that was going to take your horse for free and train it, wouldnt you wait?? Fuck she was an idiot at her first show in lungline and I managed to fix her, and all we heard was "wow, didnt know it was the same horse"...... and they caused all the problems. Friend says I should just buy her, but untill I get a job, that doesnt work, and even then how much will she cost now with all of the points I put on her?

Rough week for horse related accidents as well. First a lady falls of her horse and breaks her spine, and they dont know how that is going to turn out..... 50/50 she'll walk again. And a young teenager felll of another horse and died on the way to the hospital. Makes you wonder why we do this... or more importantly why I'm doing it.......................................................................

Well...

We had the talk.... And it didnt go so bad... other than the fact that I almost cried.... GRRRR not that I wanted to but I was emotional about riding again and how I have limits but I still want to be pushed, just when I say no I mean it! Anyways he understood about the block but said that I need to push myself, and not just go with the flow all the time. Which is fine thats why Im taking lessons. Anyways I felt bad that I almost cried (but he must be used to some crying I mean all of his students/clients are girls!) But better after we had the talk. I had been dreading my riding time.

Had a good ride. Got to ride an older mare that had some babys and now is getting put back into work. She had a real attitude when horses passed her and Im not very good with planning ahead! So we had a couple of near misses but by the end we had a good connection and I was able to fix her when I needed to (not that she shouldnt be able to just go around perfect all the time but she delt with me lol....)

How to say no

I got to ride the 'former' stud tonight he was nice but Im still having problems finding the "spot" on his horses. Found it closer to the end but its hard being on different horses every time and only going once a week.

So hes asked me to step up the game, stop using the stool to get on ect. But how much can I do... Im in alot of pain tonight and I wasnt good enough... I know I need to talk to him at some point... he wants me to be better, but this is BETTER! fuck I can walk and ride :) hell of alot better than this time last year when i spent all my lesson time walking because troting and cantering/loping hurt too much.

Sick

I haven't been posting much lately because of allot of things.

1) I was in allot of pain last week. Then when I started to feel better I had a bunch of homework to catch up on. (when my RA is bad I cant type and find it really hard to write so things get prioritised)

2) I went in for my thyroid scan on Friday. No word on how it went. Still more waiting.

3) I am now really sick from a nasty cold. It was kinda kicking around on Wednesday night but I think the visit to the hospital for my scan (with all of the lovely bugs floating around that place!) kicked it into high gear. I have a DR. appointment for next week (I'll need antibiotics :( for a lung infection by then)

4) My dad's side of the family has polisistic kidney disease (I know I got a great set of genes in my family!!!) anyways my aunt has kidney failure and is getting dialysis several times a week. Dad has started the process to donate his kidney to her. But wants me and my brother to get kidney ultra sounds just to 'make sure' before he does it.

Technically we (meaning me and my brother) shouldn't have it. My family was part of a study looking at the genetics and how this disease is passed on. Fortunately or unfortunatly in our family it is more prevalent in the female side. (ie: my grandmother got it from her mother, although several siblings of her have it, it originated in the female line) My aunt is the only one that has it out of 3 children. Unfortunately she also passed it onto all of her 3 kids. Because Dad doesn't have it (I remember him going for tests when I was really little) we technically cannot have it because it skipped him. (also never known to skip a generation).

One of my biggest disappointments of the RA was knowing that I could now never donate to one of my cusions if they ever needed it.

Who knew a western pleasure horse could run so fast?

Yup got ran away on. We were on a small circle in the center of the ring and I got asked to do a counter bend on the horse but to stay on the circle. (bend to the outside of the circle) Anyways get started on the counter bend and the mare pickes up her head and runs off! Mean while the 'boss' is yelling "Spur! Spur! push her into the bend!" any ways this happens 3 more times once more at the jog then twice at the lope :( anyways although he said I didnt handle it like I should have (but I went into survival mode not fix the horse mode!) It wasnt my fault.... she had done this before a few years ago and it took him a while to sort her out (Im thinking teeth issue)

Im still scrared when shit like that happens!

So hes planning on having a "march break camp/clinic" in march, so I tentivly signed up for that 3 days of riding in a row will do more for me that anything else would!

Lesson

Had another lesson last night. Rode a mare that gave me great feedback. If I was in the perfect positon she got soft and slow I would shift my weight and she would speed up. Bunny just kept getting pissed off at me I needed this ride!

At the end we were lopeing slower than the other girl was on Bunny, and he was working on me keeping her head up at the lope. She was a great horse to practice the leg/spur then hand because eventully she responded to the leg only.

At the end Herb was picking on me that I wasnt smiling.... then I started smiling because I figured if thats the only thing he had to comment on everything else must be good!!

Results

Well we got 2nd in the nation for yearling mares with 36 points the horse that beat us had 49. I actually met the owner of that horse at the national banquet. Shes a carded judge and she and her husband train and show... if I had to lose to anyone atleast it was her!

We got 7th in yearling lunge line, and 6th in yearling trail.

She ended up earning 60+ open points (she has points in hunter in hand but we dont know how many.) As well as youth and amature points (results are not posted yet)

humm...

So talked to a friend tonight who talked to her friend who talked to Herby who said I was a good rider :D

doing more things at the same time

Blah.... So i go for my lesson tonight and I get to ride Bunny!!!! Her real name is Really Noluckneeded, but everyone knows her as Bunny. She was a congress finalist at one point and has a wack of points. More importantly I've seen her and Herb kick ass at the AQHA shows so it was really cool to get to ride her (I think i might have only lucked out because my usual horse had a little kid on it!!)

Honestly I was shaking.... I was nervous thinking I was going to mess her up but we started off really well and had a good ride untill we went to lope (again on my bad direction but I got Herb to lengthen that side one hole and it worked alot better!) Again I screwed up the transistion (I really need to rock that hip back instead of just using legs and closing my eyes!!) And it wasnt horrible I mean for my 4th ride in 6 months but its not easy and I get somthing and the horse goes bad, I get that and were off our circle. AHHHHHH!!!!

Im learning alot though, I really got that 'feel' all though my but thigh and calf tonight (except during some of the crappy lope stuff) But I do know where my holes are in my training now a lot better. Im ok at the colt stuff but its getting to have the horse hold the frame better, without using my hands so much! But I've never had stuff this broke to ride before (except for the jumpers) Its alot of work but Im loving it and wanting to learn more all the time, not so bored but intrested again. Its been a while for that feeling!

I had to laugh to the girl that Herb has working for him was lunging a young colt and couldnt get him to stop. I didnt say anything but I felt like telling her to back up instead of running at his head.....

All and all a great birthday ride. I told Herb that getting to ride her was the best birthday present, and it was!

...

Oh and I got my Remicade treatment last thursday as well. I went in at 1 and was out by 4:30 even though I waited the extra hour just in case. A much beter time then the previous ones. I did get quite a migrane (but wondering if it is because of all the salaine they pump into me...becase I pee like a race horse all night after too!!!) Anyways done for another 2 months :)

Intresting Phone Call

Well I got an intresting phone call, or really I returned one. The recruter from the bank I worked for last summer called and wanted to know how I was, how school was going ect. Wanted to know if I was thinking about returning to the bank at some point. (told her yes of course, but that I didnt think being a teller was working with the stress on my hand joints) I personaly thought it was great to have her call. Told me to keep checking the site where they post jobs, more frequently as I got closer to graduation and to let her know if anything caught my eye.

Im also reading a book called 'Ask for it' all about getting what you want as a woman in the work place. Its very intresting reading. Most women dont negotiate there starting salaries but alot of men do and then typicaly earn more money.

Unfortuntly this post isnt 'horsey', we are in the middle of a snow storm, so I had to cancel my lesson for tonight. I did however managed to get another one for Thursday so cross your fingers that it doesnt snow. Added below is a pic of me on my first horse (and I still know where he is, 10 years later.) Showing at our provincal 4-H show and winning our equation class.

Roxy

Oh I also got the go ahead from Pony kids mom that shes ok with me showing her horse and I can take her to the local clinic that my new coach is doing closer to home. Im really excited :) We had been talking about this from the time that she was bought that I might do some stuff with her if I was ok. Then the PM got hurt at work and will more than likely be out for the summer following surgery. She is still going to show halter and showmanship but the mare is mine for the rest of the classes. So plans for sure include the local stuff.

Here comes the intresting stuff. I have seen the videos when the horse got bought but they bought her basicly sight unseen from about 2000km away. We knew she had some futurity placings and they had showed her AQHA but that was about it.

So I looked up the futurity that she was in. Its a 50/50 where the only horses elegibale are entered as weanlings into a sale. 1/2 the purchase price goes into the pot the rest goes back to the owner. The money kept by the club goes into a futurity when the horses are 2, with a pleasure, halter, and pattern classes (2 goes each)

Roxy aparently placed 3rd over all. 'Great' your thinking.... Yeah she ended up wining 4500. Now the reason I really looked into it is that for AQHA green western pleasure you cant have won over 1000 in that class.... Now im trying to figure out how much she won in the pleasure but were waiting for the offical report on her from aqha which should clear that up. :)

Boot Camp

Yeah so its my 3rd ride in basicly 6 months. Aparently the fun is over. Although I thought it was intresting that the new trainer kept going "seriously this is the 2nd time??" I thought that we were progressing at a good rate. By the time each ride was over I was encouraged by the things that were comming easer by the end of the ride, but still having problems doing more than 4 things at the same time.

So we start of easy (I am again riding the same mare, with I dont even want to know how many points!) And then he starts with the lope. Id like to mention here that Im having problems with the lope! Getting my outside leg back spur on, inside leg/spur to lift, hips to keep the motion, hands keeping the shoulder up but not hanging on her mouth, keeping myself balanced as well as her ect.....

So we lope and lope and lope..... all my bad way. Hes yelling at me and im almost to the point of yelling back (which I never do!!! I usualy cry first!!) but I give up and just go with it. Im paying him to fix me, Im paying him to make me a pro again, obvously if hes pushing he thinks I can do it. He doesnt push people outside of the box of there abilities, but he wants you to push your own boundrys of what you 'think' you can do.

So we work and finaly the last 5 min I get it. I have the horse keeping my rytham, slow but not too slow with lots of 'kick'. Contact all though my leg like I can feel her breathing, each muscle doing its job (again!! finaly!!!) my spurs lifting her enough without encouraging her to move out and my hands staying out of the way allowing her to carry herself.

FINALY!!!

And I can walk today!!! Maybe I can ride again at least one or two that I want to and maybe show decently. I dont think I'd want to break stuff out again but its nice to know that the body kinda remembers what everything is suposto do. :)

COLD!!!

Well for the past few days its been around -35 to -40 with wind chill around here. Its really cold! Now it seems to have warmed up BUT its now snowing :( Winter is just not working for me!

Got the results back from the ultrasound it hasnt grown... but it hasnt srunk either. So more tests they took me off the thyroid meds for a few weeks to have my (hopefully) TSH drop to 25% Im assuming that my TSH was working again because thats what clued them into that I had a problem, I had no TSH. So another couple of blood tests, then the radio-active iodine again, and the thyroid scan. None of this hurts (other than the needle with the iodine but its just a needle) but it is a pain in the ass. Why couldnt I just be healthy?

So I emailed the ex, basicly saying that it hasnt grown, more tests ect. (like I told ALL my friends). and I got "thanks for letting me know". I dont know what I was expecting but still... This is from the guy that said 'maybe when your done school..." Thinking my friend was right, somthing else was wrong (with either him or me) and he just didnt want to man up.

Good news: I go riding again in 2 days... that is if it stays warm and the roads are good......

Lesson time

Well I got some saddle time tonight. Had a great ride. There is one thing to be said about WP AQHA trainers. If they have lesson horses the lessons horses are BROKE. Makes it easer for me to feel what he wants when I dont have to worry about what the horse is doing so much. I belive the mare I was on tonight has over 100 points.

Aparently my seat isnt so bad he was fixing my hands upper body alot. But I tend to stiffen my lower back for some strange reason (my muscles in my back are super tight... always have been and will always be) so he caught that and kept my body the right way. Aparently when Im giving with my hands Im not releasing down so much as out so we fixed that which helped fix my sholders.....

Oh well it gave me somthing to look forword to. Somthing positive. I kinda thought about things last night, maybe I wasnt falling so much for Trevor, but for what I thought I was with him. Anyways things to think on

Wish I could figure this out...

So I went for the ultrasound today for the thyroid. Of course they cant tell you anthing... It makes it really hard for the next week waiting to find out what the verdict is going to be. And hell am I going to have to take more time off school to go up and make an appointment? Its just starting to drive me nuts. When will it be over so I can just get on with my life?

And then there is him... Or the lack of him.... Im still stuned.... I was falling fast and hard and now I'm stuck. I cant put my life on hold but I'm like 'what if ... I moved closer (when Im done school)... or what if I move away and It could have had a chance?

Ive tryed really hard over the past 8 months to live without regrets. To do what I want to do when I want to do it. And so far so good. I mean I have a 1600 credit card debit from congress.... but I needed to go...Ive wanted to go for years! And I couldnt stand the fact that I might have missed my only chance.

But now what? This relationship changed my perceptions of what I thought my life would be like... From living alone to having family around, maybe even a bunch of kids. From living to work to maybe staying at home as a mom. He basicly fliped my world upside down, then walked away.

And then there is the CW thing... although it doesnt personly effect me, it does upset me. How can we WP people tell people "its all in the breeding its so natural" and then have a guy at the top nearly kill a horse... and from the rumors he has been guilty of that as well as other bnt. I just cant imagine. I can see putting a horse down because its too dangerous or is lame or whatever. But to beat a horse so bad that it will never be sound of limb or mind again? How does this happen? And it aparently happens alot! Money makes us do bad things. Hell the local kids got a large slot class, and now 1/2 of them wont talk to eachother, some kids have quit completly, and others ride lame horses without a bit of doubt that its ok.

well now that I dont have to spend my extra $ on gas....

I decided that I should do what I've been debating about for a while now. Putting myself back into weekly lessons. So after a few phone calls and emails to horsey friends I have signed up with a guy to do lessons every Tuesday for a bit. I have taken lessons before from him, and although I learned alot I was fairly sore... but joints were worse then.... and I weighed about 40lbs more than now as well.

So I guess we'll see how it goes. I also have another thyroid ultrasound on Thursday comming. Cross your fingers that it is atleast the same size if not smaller..... I think they will start talking surgery again if its gotten bigger....

And yes boys do still suck. I think the only good part is me getting off my ass and getting some saddle time. Im going to need it if Im showing any riding horses this summer. He was a good excuse. Im too busy, dont have time, dont have money.....

Besides this is the first boyfriend in a long time that Ive broken up with and not had horses to get me over it.

Boys Suck

Fuck they suck. Aparently its too hard on him, the distance thing. I had no idea... I thought everything was good, I mean yeah it sucks only seeing him on weekends but I thought it was worth it. I guess it wasnt for him.

Scratch #7 off the list below.... I guess I know now where it was going in 2009