So I went for the ultrasound today for the thyroid. Of course they cant tell you anthing... It makes it really hard for the next week waiting to find out what the verdict is going to be. And hell am I going to have to take more time off school to go up and make an appointment? Its just starting to drive me nuts. When will it be over so I can just get on with my life?
And then there is him... Or the lack of him.... Im still stuned.... I was falling fast and hard and now I'm stuck. I cant put my life on hold but I'm like 'what if ... I moved closer (when Im done school)... or what if I move away and It could have had a chance?
Ive tryed really hard over the past 8 months to live without regrets. To do what I want to do when I want to do it. And so far so good. I mean I have a 1600 credit card debit from congress.... but I needed to go...Ive wanted to go for years! And I couldnt stand the fact that I might have missed my only chance.
But now what? This relationship changed my perceptions of what I thought my life would be like... From living alone to having family around, maybe even a bunch of kids. From living to work to maybe staying at home as a mom. He basicly fliped my world upside down, then walked away.
And then there is the CW thing... although it doesnt personly effect me, it does upset me. How can we WP people tell people "its all in the breeding its so natural" and then have a guy at the top nearly kill a horse... and from the rumors he has been guilty of that as well as other bnt. I just cant imagine. I can see putting a horse down because its too dangerous or is lame or whatever. But to beat a horse so bad that it will never be sound of limb or mind again? How does this happen? And it aparently happens alot! Money makes us do bad things. Hell the local kids got a large slot class, and now 1/2 of them wont talk to eachother, some kids have quit completly, and others ride lame horses without a bit of doubt that its ok.
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