Roxy

Oh I also got the go ahead from Pony kids mom that shes ok with me showing her horse and I can take her to the local clinic that my new coach is doing closer to home. Im really excited :) We had been talking about this from the time that she was bought that I might do some stuff with her if I was ok. Then the PM got hurt at work and will more than likely be out for the summer following surgery. She is still going to show halter and showmanship but the mare is mine for the rest of the classes. So plans for sure include the local stuff.

Here comes the intresting stuff. I have seen the videos when the horse got bought but they bought her basicly sight unseen from about 2000km away. We knew she had some futurity placings and they had showed her AQHA but that was about it.

So I looked up the futurity that she was in. Its a 50/50 where the only horses elegibale are entered as weanlings into a sale. 1/2 the purchase price goes into the pot the rest goes back to the owner. The money kept by the club goes into a futurity when the horses are 2, with a pleasure, halter, and pattern classes (2 goes each)

Roxy aparently placed 3rd over all. 'Great' your thinking.... Yeah she ended up wining 4500. Now the reason I really looked into it is that for AQHA green western pleasure you cant have won over 1000 in that class.... Now im trying to figure out how much she won in the pleasure but were waiting for the offical report on her from aqha which should clear that up. :)

Boot Camp

Yeah so its my 3rd ride in basicly 6 months. Aparently the fun is over. Although I thought it was intresting that the new trainer kept going "seriously this is the 2nd time??" I thought that we were progressing at a good rate. By the time each ride was over I was encouraged by the things that were comming easer by the end of the ride, but still having problems doing more than 4 things at the same time.

So we start of easy (I am again riding the same mare, with I dont even want to know how many points!) And then he starts with the lope. Id like to mention here that Im having problems with the lope! Getting my outside leg back spur on, inside leg/spur to lift, hips to keep the motion, hands keeping the shoulder up but not hanging on her mouth, keeping myself balanced as well as her ect.....

So we lope and lope and lope..... all my bad way. Hes yelling at me and im almost to the point of yelling back (which I never do!!! I usualy cry first!!) but I give up and just go with it. Im paying him to fix me, Im paying him to make me a pro again, obvously if hes pushing he thinks I can do it. He doesnt push people outside of the box of there abilities, but he wants you to push your own boundrys of what you 'think' you can do.

So we work and finaly the last 5 min I get it. I have the horse keeping my rytham, slow but not too slow with lots of 'kick'. Contact all though my leg like I can feel her breathing, each muscle doing its job (again!! finaly!!!) my spurs lifting her enough without encouraging her to move out and my hands staying out of the way allowing her to carry herself.

FINALY!!!

And I can walk today!!! Maybe I can ride again at least one or two that I want to and maybe show decently. I dont think I'd want to break stuff out again but its nice to know that the body kinda remembers what everything is suposto do. :)

COLD!!!

Well for the past few days its been around -35 to -40 with wind chill around here. Its really cold! Now it seems to have warmed up BUT its now snowing :( Winter is just not working for me!

Got the results back from the ultrasound it hasnt grown... but it hasnt srunk either. So more tests they took me off the thyroid meds for a few weeks to have my (hopefully) TSH drop to 25% Im assuming that my TSH was working again because thats what clued them into that I had a problem, I had no TSH. So another couple of blood tests, then the radio-active iodine again, and the thyroid scan. None of this hurts (other than the needle with the iodine but its just a needle) but it is a pain in the ass. Why couldnt I just be healthy?

So I emailed the ex, basicly saying that it hasnt grown, more tests ect. (like I told ALL my friends). and I got "thanks for letting me know". I dont know what I was expecting but still... This is from the guy that said 'maybe when your done school..." Thinking my friend was right, somthing else was wrong (with either him or me) and he just didnt want to man up.

Good news: I go riding again in 2 days... that is if it stays warm and the roads are good......

Lesson time

Well I got some saddle time tonight. Had a great ride. There is one thing to be said about WP AQHA trainers. If they have lesson horses the lessons horses are BROKE. Makes it easer for me to feel what he wants when I dont have to worry about what the horse is doing so much. I belive the mare I was on tonight has over 100 points.

Aparently my seat isnt so bad he was fixing my hands upper body alot. But I tend to stiffen my lower back for some strange reason (my muscles in my back are super tight... always have been and will always be) so he caught that and kept my body the right way. Aparently when Im giving with my hands Im not releasing down so much as out so we fixed that which helped fix my sholders.....

Oh well it gave me somthing to look forword to. Somthing positive. I kinda thought about things last night, maybe I wasnt falling so much for Trevor, but for what I thought I was with him. Anyways things to think on

Wish I could figure this out...

So I went for the ultrasound today for the thyroid. Of course they cant tell you anthing... It makes it really hard for the next week waiting to find out what the verdict is going to be. And hell am I going to have to take more time off school to go up and make an appointment? Its just starting to drive me nuts. When will it be over so I can just get on with my life?

And then there is him... Or the lack of him.... Im still stuned.... I was falling fast and hard and now I'm stuck. I cant put my life on hold but I'm like 'what if ... I moved closer (when Im done school)... or what if I move away and It could have had a chance?

Ive tryed really hard over the past 8 months to live without regrets. To do what I want to do when I want to do it. And so far so good. I mean I have a 1600 credit card debit from congress.... but I needed to go...Ive wanted to go for years! And I couldnt stand the fact that I might have missed my only chance.

But now what? This relationship changed my perceptions of what I thought my life would be like... From living alone to having family around, maybe even a bunch of kids. From living to work to maybe staying at home as a mom. He basicly fliped my world upside down, then walked away.

And then there is the CW thing... although it doesnt personly effect me, it does upset me. How can we WP people tell people "its all in the breeding its so natural" and then have a guy at the top nearly kill a horse... and from the rumors he has been guilty of that as well as other bnt. I just cant imagine. I can see putting a horse down because its too dangerous or is lame or whatever. But to beat a horse so bad that it will never be sound of limb or mind again? How does this happen? And it aparently happens alot! Money makes us do bad things. Hell the local kids got a large slot class, and now 1/2 of them wont talk to eachother, some kids have quit completly, and others ride lame horses without a bit of doubt that its ok.

well now that I dont have to spend my extra $ on gas....

I decided that I should do what I've been debating about for a while now. Putting myself back into weekly lessons. So after a few phone calls and emails to horsey friends I have signed up with a guy to do lessons every Tuesday for a bit. I have taken lessons before from him, and although I learned alot I was fairly sore... but joints were worse then.... and I weighed about 40lbs more than now as well.

So I guess we'll see how it goes. I also have another thyroid ultrasound on Thursday comming. Cross your fingers that it is atleast the same size if not smaller..... I think they will start talking surgery again if its gotten bigger....

And yes boys do still suck. I think the only good part is me getting off my ass and getting some saddle time. Im going to need it if Im showing any riding horses this summer. He was a good excuse. Im too busy, dont have time, dont have money.....

Besides this is the first boyfriend in a long time that Ive broken up with and not had horses to get me over it.

Boys Suck

Fuck they suck. Aparently its too hard on him, the distance thing. I had no idea... I thought everything was good, I mean yeah it sucks only seeing him on weekends but I thought it was worth it. I guess it wasnt for him.

Scratch #7 off the list below.... I guess I know now where it was going in 2009