Well we took the palomino to a clinic this weekend with the guy i rode with all winter. He really liked her. Even kept liking her when the kid got on. Said afterwords that she would be tough enough for AQHA shows but didn't know how she would mentally handle the training that we would have to put into her to get her to that point.
We had a really good weekend though, I rode 2 times on Saturday and I think really showed that yeah I actually really do know how to ride. We had to do an exercise of bending to the outside on a small jog circle having them cross over there front legs (keeping the outside shoulder up) then to lope off in the opposite direction to keep the outside bend, which is now the new inside. The boss kept saying "those are the hands the rest of you want" made me feel good.
But now I've realized I don't really like riding anymore.
I feel like its just to prove a point now, that I can do it, still better than most other people, even with my problems.
Its just a chase of perfection.
And I am scared ever time I go to get on, of how much it will hurt when I fall off. It hurts if I bump into something.
And the fact that we would have to brake that horse mentally for her to show well........... I dont think I could do it.
So I dont know what Im going to do, I know I like halter and showing the young horses, I always have but now what do I do.... Add to the fact that work is slowly killing me I had to take off today as I was to tired and my hands hurt too bad....
I dont know what to do
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